Chapter One Song: My Immortal by Evanescence
I suppose it really started when Jenna had had enough of her boyfriend Mark.
"What do you want Jenna? God damn it!" Mark yelled at her.
"Tell me you'll stop. Tell me I'm more important than your screwed up little friend that helps you cope with everything so bloddy stressful in your complicated life!" Jenna yelled back.
"I tried to stop, but I need it."
"More than you need me?"
There was a dead silence.
"Oh..." Jenna whispered. "More than you need me."
Jenna felt faint and searched around for a seat to sit down.
"Oh god, I see now." She wimpered, "Its only just become clear, I can't beleive it took me this long to realise! God how stupid can I be, my mother was right. You'll never stop using, never." Tears rolled down her face.
"Jenna I'll cut back again, I promise." Mark said carmly sitting down oposite Jenna on the lounge.
Jenna sat there shaking her head slowly, with a look of shock.
"No." She said quietly, now deflated of emotion. "I have to be alone."
Jenna got up and grabbed her bag, snatched her keys off the hall table, she ran out the door and fumbled with her keys to open her car.
She got in and drove off, tears still streamed down her face, she drove until she got to North Head Beach, she pulled the car over and turned off the ignition and broke down, she cried uncontrolably wondering how in the world she got herself into this situation.
Jenna tried to calm herself down, she breathed in slowly and wipped her eyes and face clear of her tears. She stepped out of the car and found a spot to sit on a huge rock balancing on the hill overlooking the crashing waves onto North Head Beach.
She sat there wondering what to do. Mark would never stop doing drugs and she just couldnt keep living with a drug addict, she felt she deserved a better life, a better boyfriend, her thoughts dwindled from Mark to her first love, a man she had loved in her past when she was quite young, his name was Jacobe.
She remembered Jacobe tall and fit, with light brown hair that would almost be mistaken for blonde because of how much time he would spend in the sun.
Jenna smiled as she pictures his amazing hazel eyes that she used to lose herself in. When she was with him nothing else seemed to matter, they had a deep connection that Jenna only could describe as soul mates. He always seemed to understand her like no one else could. She wondered how her life would be if she hadnt met Mark and made the huge mistake in planing her future with Mark.
Right now, there was no future and she felt so alone and lost. She kicked a stone down into the water and more tears began to stream down her face again. She starred out into the ocean hoping to find the answers to her lifes questions there, but all that returned were the sounds of the ocean's waves, crashing onto the rocks.
Her thoughts drifted from what to do about Mark to a warm thought about Jacobe, and what might have been. She hadnt seen Jacobe for over three years, but had kept in contact with him, they sent the occasional email to each other, but rarely called each other. Jenna mostly kept her distance because they were both with their own partners and Mark was very jealous. Jenna always felt she had made a mistake in telling Mark her whole history with Jacobe.
Jenna grabbed her phone from her pocket, sniffed her tears back and dialed Jacobe's phone number. The phone rang but it went to voice mail.
"Hi, you've reached Jacobe please leave your details and I'll call you back." ..Beep.
Jenn hesitated and cleared her throat, "Hey Jake its Jenna. Um... just called to talk... I miss you. Um, no need to call me back, nothing important. I'll talk to you soon... Okay, bye." She hung up and sighed, sloching over putting her face into her hands.
Jenna sat there for what seemed like hours, sometimes thinking about the mess her life seemed to be, sometimes starring blankly into the ocean with no thought at all, other than how upset she felt.
The approching evening made the ocean's breeze turn from warm to cool, so she retreated to her car, sitting in the drivers seat still thinking about Jacobe. She thought about how she had missed out on so much time with him, missed out on a life with him, what if she had stayed with Jacobe? Why did she break up with him? She desperatly wanted to see him again, it tugged on her heart string to think about him, not having seen him for so long. Jacobe would understand about her situation with Mark, he would lift her up emotionally like he always could, he could console her like no one else. She had to see him, she just had to. She made up her mind right there and then... she would leave, she would leave Mark forever and seek out her first love, Jacobe. She started the car and started the drive home to pack her bags.
